Wednesday's Back
by turbomagnus
Summary: Just because she was attending school in England did not mean Joel Glicker wasn't with Wednesday Addams, they should have remembered that...


Summary: Just because she was attending school in England did not mean Joel Glicker wasn't with Wednesday Addams, they should have remembered that...

Disclaimer: The "Addams Family" and all associated characters and situations, along with those of the "St. Trinian's" franchise, are the property of their respective owners and are used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Wednesday's Back"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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'Addams' was not simply a family name, it was a way of life; one that Joel Glicker had enthusiastically and whole-heartedly adopted as his own after first being introduced to it. To be Addams was to embrace the macabre and madcap, welcoming what others rejected, seeing the beauty in the dark and disturbing. It was not something that most commonly understood, and those that did often found themselves becoming Addams by name as well as by lifestyle eventually. That particular fate was one that Joel had in mind for himself to face before too many more years would pass, if he were to have his chosen way. Some people, unfortunately, didn't understand or believe in that choice - assuming that their opinions had some sway in the matter. In all honesty, Joel neither knew nor cared where people had developed the concept that everyone wanted - no, needed - to hear their thoughts on every subject and especially that they should be heeded, but it was an annoyance when their misconception began interfering with his life.

That annoyance had gotten worse over the last few years; years which had caused Joel to grow rather displeased with certain aspects of the United States of America's educational system. Honestly, they had overreacted in his opinion. Yes, Wednesday Addams had caused chaos, mayhem and more than a few first degree burns and hair-loss, along with a number of bruises and broken bones; but the school system was what had insisted on her and Pugsley's presence with that 'mandatory attendence' law they pushed the enforcement of so strongly. It made no sense to put someone in a situation against their will - and their family's - and then blame them for that they did in that situation.

Unfortunately, that was the kind of logic that simply seemed to elude most people, especially the so-called and self-proclaimed 'normal' people. Fortunately, in searching for a school that Wednesday could attend to finish out her educational years, her father had discovered a wonderful place in England with a track-record that made it the perfect place for an Addams to attend - it had actually been a disappointment to Joel and to Wednesday's brothers that this 'St. Trinian's' was a girls' school and none of them could go too. It had been even more disappointing when Wednesday had returned for a visit and tortured them with tales of how wonderful and understanding St. Trinian's really was, even proclaiming that it should be the school of choice for future generations of Addams females. The normally dour girl was disturbingly happy; Joel had even gotten permission from her parents to torture her until they could be certain she hadn't been brainwashed or anything of the sort; the experience had been almost as enjoyable as the confirmation that Wednesday was still herself.

Regrettably for Joel, his current torture was nowhere near as enjoyable. Waterboarding, the rack, being tied up with wet leather straps and left for them to dry, all of these would have been more preferable to the young man than his present experience. Wednesday had, to his dismay, despair and depression, returned to St. Trinian's at the end of her holiday visit for the last half of her final year of school and so Joel had been left alone to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - or at least the barbed comments and narrow-mindedness of others. 'Out of sight, out of mind', as the old saying went, but it never said whose mind it was to be out of; despite being out of his sight, Wednesday remained on his mind, she possessed it, dominated it, filled it like the moon filled the dark night sky. Even with an ocean between them, she was his dark goddess, his evil genius, his queen of the night, the one he loved, his Wednesday, his girlfriend. Unfortunately, that was the kind of logic that simply seemed to elude most people, especially the so-called and self-proclaimed 'normal' people. They effectively rejected reality and substituted their own world-view on events and people, regardless of the accuracy. It was their minds, others' minds, their small, petty, comformist little minds that she was out of.

And in their petty, normal little minds, they thought that meant that he was free for the taking. Every 'normal' girl in school that had been properly terrified of his Wednesday now stalked him like predators; every 'normal' girl his age that they knew of was introduced to him by his parents trying to 'get him back to normal', they all said things and did things, and it infuriated him. Not a raging fury, the stuff of volcanos and storms, what he felt was a quiet fury, a cold anger, the fury of a patient man that made wise men wary. It was something that he had learned from Gomez Addams, Wednesday's father and one day he hoped his own father-in-law; be passionate in life, show your loves, your joys, your pleasures, even your sorrows, but never your anger; keep that for yourself until the time is right and then, and only then, truly unleash hell upon those that have driven you to anger. If it came to that, it would be the thing of songs and stories told throughout the Addams for ages, perhaps even given the glory of the Mamushka danced for it. Of course, for that to happen it would have to do so in the matter of the next fortnight, because once he had graduated and was no longer forced by society to do so, he had little plans to interact with the vast majority of the 'normal' people that were making his life so troublesome again if he could help it.

And Joel found himself mentally groaning as the person most likely to bring matters to that point decided to make her most unwelcome presence known. As if to damn with faint praise, she did - at least - have the slightest hint of 'abnormality' about her; most people would do everything possible to avoid someone who had taken part in tying them to a stake and setting it on fire, no matter what the circumstances of meeting them again, and instead Amanda Buckman was the foremost of the 'normal' girls chasing him now that the pre-pubescent nerd had turned into something they considered more physically attractive, certain they could 'fix' him once they got him away from 'the corruptive influence of that Addams girl'. They talked about 'fixing' him as though there were something broken with him and Amanda was the worst perpetrator, enough so that he found himself thinking back to that summer camp play and considering a reinactment at times. It was only too bad that the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned plague upon his existance had gotten her teeth fixed; he could have had a matching pair of her retainers for prizes otherwise.

"Hi, Joel," Amanda announced herself with a swirl of her sundress's skirt and a thousand-watt smile that turned his stomach from its brightness.

An annoyed sigh preceeded Joel's response, "Miss Buckman."

"We're graduating next week."

"I'm well aware of that," was the noncommittal answer.

The blonde pressed forward, "There's going to be an absolutely massive party for the graduating class being held at Battery Park that night."

_'I suppose her giving up was a ridiculous thought,'_ Joel considered to himself. Audibly, he only remarked, "Is there a point to any of this?"

Amanda huffed at what she felt was him trying to play 'hard to get', "Joel, I'm trying to ask if you'll be my escort to the party!"

"I'm not going," he answered flatly.

"But you have to go," the blonde replied in disbelief, "It's the class farewell party!"

Joel waved a hand dismissively, "Farewell, then."

"I was actually thinking that we could say goodbye to our classmates _together_," the emphasis that Amanda put on the word left little doubt as to the secondary meaning she was giving it.

"And I was thinking that I could have a private celebration of the fact that I would likely never see most of my classmates again," he retorted firmly.

She giggled, she actually giggled at that, "You've got a wonderful sense of humor, Joel. I like that. We could have that private celebration after the public one, though."

Having met Margaret Addams, Joel didn't usually fall into the trap of believing the 'dumb blonde' stereotype, but there were times where he wasn't certain if Amanda Buckman were naturally as stupid as she seemed or if she was actually being deliberately obtuse and this was one of them. No one could be that ignorant of what he was trying to say without it being intentional, he was certain. He was _almost _certain.

"Certainly; you can celebrate in the privacy of your home, I'll celebrate in the privacy of mine, and never the two shall meet," he pronounced.

"There's that sense of humor again," Amanda smiled and Joel wanted to shudder at the sight. "You always know how to make me laugh, Joel."

Normally, when salvation comes, there's implications of halos of light and angelic choirs. None of those were present, and they would have been completely out of context if they were, but Joel still felt as though a supernatural force had risen to his aid at the sound of the next voice he heard.

"You could get the same result by looking in a mirror. That or your face could make you cry; everyone else has one of those reactions to it," Wednesday Addams announced her presence, coming out of a nearby alleyway and interjecting herself physically between the other two.

Amanda recoiled in horror at the pale skin and volume-less hair - and worse yet, the complete lack of any makeup, including blush or eyeliner - of her archnemesis and the key problem in bringing Joel Glicker to her side where he actually belonged, "What are you doing here?"

"You thought you could claim what already belongs to me," Wednesday informed her flatly. "Where else would I be?"

"I thought you were sent to a reform school in Europe," Amanda managed not to snarl or spit out the words.

One of the raven-haired girl's eyebrows rose ever-so-slightly, "Did you think that would save you if I was?"

"I hate to repeat any question someone like the blonde tick has already asked since it gives it too much credit, but what are you doing here, _cara mia_?" Joel asked his savior, moving closer to take her hand and plant a quick kiss to her knuckles before continuing. "Not that I don't dote on your presence and enjoy the support against people like... that thing... but there's still more time before the last day of school and I wouldn't want you punished for playing 'hooky', at least without Gomez giving me permission to use the leather straps and crank first."

"St. Trinian's term ends a week before school here and Cousin Caliban was flying over from England anyway," Wednesday remarked, not visibly reacting to the image of her, him, and leather straps that he'd given her mind. That could come later, in private. "He was relatively willing to add a passenger to his plans."

"Remind me to thank him, maybe a new suit of armor, maybe something in a dark green to replace the black," the young man remarked with a thoughtful expression.

"Or just a new black one," his dark angel advised. "He doesn't like people who wear green armor for some reason."

Amanda stomped a foot in fury, though to the other two it seemed more like the tantrum of a petulant child, "Stop ignoring me!"

Wednesday turned her head slightly back towards the blonde and arched an eyebrow, "Or what?"

"Or... uh... I..." Amanda verbally stumbled before finding a path for her words to follow. "Or I'll have my parents sue yours until your family wouldn't even be able to afford a cheap motel."

"You never did tell me if they were made from real Girl Scouts," Wednesday noted smugly, referring to the time her family actually had been forced to stay in a cheap motel; ironically enough also the first time, albeit without introductions, that she'd actually encounted Amanda Buckman.

Joel looked sideways at Amanda, but he was addressing Wednesday when he spoke, "Would you eat that?"

"Only if I wanted to make myself sick," the raven-haired femme answered, grimacing at the thought of what kind of reaction her body might have if she did.

Amanda looked at Joel, horrified, "You don't have to cater to her, Joel! Don't pander to her sick fetishes!"

"_Cara mia_, do I 'cater' or 'pander'?"

Wednesday sighed in thought, "Worship, adore, be my devoted slave, drive me to pity you... but, no, not 'cater' or 'pander'."

Joel shrugged before addressing Amanda, "There, you see? No catering or pandering. As for sick fetishes..."

He leaned over and whispered something in Wednesday's ear, causing her eyes to brighten slightly and widen.

Joel then looked back at Amanda, "Most of those I share, not that it's any of your business."

"Joel, you're better than this, better than... her..." Amanda almost seemed to be begging now.

"Better than you," Wednesday added with a faint smirk. "Since he's actually important and not just wasting time and breathing air that could be better used by my new pet."

"You have a new pet?" Joel asked, slightly surprised. "What did you find in England worth bringing home?"

"I call it 'Puppy'," she answered with an almost happy sigh. "I think over there they call it a 'Beast of Dartmoor'."

_'I hope he and Kitty-Cat get along.'_ "Hm," Joel thought for a moment, then pointed with his thumb at Amanda, "Chew-toy?"

Wednesday gave him a flat look, "I don't believe in Animal Cruelty except in cases where humans are just dumb animals."

"...This isn't?" Her paramour's tone was openly incredulous.

"Not if Puppy becomes involved," Wednesday pointed out as though it were obvious.

Joel grimaced as he realised that it should have been, "Right..."

Amanda didn't know what a 'Beast of Dartmoor' was, but she was still in disbelief at the part of that exchange she did understand, "'Puppy'?"

"Yes." Wednesday's expression took on a devilish bent, "Would you like to meet him?"

Proving that while she was many things, 'completely stupid' wasn't one of them, the blonde stammered out, "Uh... um... No?"

"Remember that and remember this, then," the Addams girl informed her.

Before anyone could say anything else, Wednesday had reached over to grab Joel by the collar and pull him to her. Calling on all of the passion in the Addams bloodline, she forcefully brought his lips to hers for a searing, claiming kiss; declaring him as her own as effectively as the night she'd terrified him after declaring that if she killed her husband, it would be by fright. Joel was unable to keep himself from moaning into the kiss and cupping his lilithian love's cheeks, seeking to keep the kiss from ending any time soon. With her free hand, Wednesday fumbled for a moment before taking ahold of her partner's belt, using it as leverage to eliminate any last daylight that might have shone between them.

Neither of them were in any state to hear it as Amanda Buckman screamed in horror and ran away, wondering how the world could be so wrong...

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Author's Note: According to the Addams Family wiki, there actually is a Caliban Addams who is a distant cousin of Wednesday and co., though details may not be accurate. To my fellow Warhammer 40k fans who got the joke; I regret nothing! To those wondering, yes, the same girl played the Girl Scout in the first movie and Amanda in 'Values', so I didn't feel it a stretch to consider the possibility that the Girl Scout was a younger Amanda.


End file.
